Monday, December 6, 2010

Imperium Infinitus!

One of Great Satan's chronic chronicaliers chronicles a crunk bit about Great Satans benevolent hegemony in the New Millennium

"...Americans rightly lack an imperial mentality. But lessening our engagement with the world would have devastating consequences for humanity. The disruptions we witness today are but a taste of what is to come should our country flinch from its international responsibilities.

"...Currency wars. Terrorist attacks. Military conflicts. Rogue regimes pursuing nuclear weapons. Collapsing states. And now, massive leaks of secret documents. What is the cause of such turbulence? 

"...The absence of empire."


Dr K's piece highlights the dilemma facing certain cats in Great Satan's diplopolititary craft. Either manage a somewhat graceful decline of American Power as state and non state actor outers devour their neighbors (with attendent genocide, gendercide, intolerance and unenlightenment - natch!) 

Or,  strive to unbind Great Satan and allow her to remain, maintain and increase her hyper power stats and world imperium.

Unaussprechlichen, bitte - in a crazy, crunk and disorderly world with an absent Great Satan - please be sure to note the primary targets will be fun and free choice societies. After all - tolerant, egalitarian places with penchants for transparent elections and free press function like kryptonite in Smallville.

"...If the Cold War was an epoch of relative stability, guaranteed by a tacit understanding among empires, we now have one waning empire, that of the United States, trying to bring order amid a world of rising and sometimes hostile powers.

"...Looming over all of this is the densely crowded global map. Across Eurasia, rural populations have given way to megacities prone to incitement by mass media and to destruction by environmental catastrophe. Lumbering, hard-to-deploy armies are being replaced with overlapping ballistic missile ranges that demonstrate the delivery capabilities of weapons of mass destruction. 

"...New technologies make everything affect everything else at a faster and more lethal rate than ever before. The free flow of information, as the WikiLeaks scandal makes clear, and the miniaturization of weaponry, as the terrorist bombings in Pakistani cities make clear, work against the rise and sustenance of imperial orders.

"....The American empire has always been more structural than spiritual. Its network of alliances certainly resembles those of empires past, and the challenges facing its troops abroad are comparable to those of imperial forces of yore, though the American public, especially after the debacles in Iraq and Afghanistan, is in no mood for any more of the land-centric adventures that have been the stuff of imperialism since antiquity.

The challenge is not so new - indeed - thanks to the Vulcans and their spiritual enablers and fellow travelers - the gig remains the same:

▪ Pursue the "military-technological revolution" to preserve its superiority in the latest weapons systems (e.g., smart munitions)

▪ Sustain the "forward" presence of Great Satan's ground, air, and naval forces in strategically important areas, to validate commitments, and to provide a capability to respond to crises affecting significant interests, such as freedom of the seas and access to markets and energy supplies

▪ Preserve a smaller but diverse "mix" of survivable nuclear forces to support a global role, validate security guarantees, and deter Chinese/Russian/Iranian nuclear forces. This may mean encouraging sister democrazies in rough hoods - like Nippon, Soko and Taiwan to develop a new clear ambiguity - kinda like Little Satan's.

▪ Field a missile defense system as a shield against accidental missile launches or limited missile strikes by "international outlaws"

▪ Maintain a capability to reconstitute military forces in the event a regional hegemon threatens to become a global threat

▪ Find ways to integrate the "new democrazies" into a hot! Great Satan-led system

▪ Work with allies in NATO, Europe, Little Satan and elsewhere yet be totally ready to act out unilaterally or with only a few other nations when multilateral and cooperative action proves too "sluggish" to protect vital interests.

Pic - "Every threat to internat’l order after Cold War involved a gov that fell short of Western and economic standards. Every security problem that Great Satan felt called upon to address would be alleviated, if not solved altogether, if the regimes responsible for them could be remade to American specs" 


J. said...

I'm somehow staggered by the argument in this post - that our choices are American empire or global chaos. Yey, verily, if our govt does not pursue a Cheney defense program of increased military footprints and billions poured into missile defense, the world crumbles.

You should know better. "Princess Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." The Balkans, the Middle East, Korea - more US military power isn't the answer. A functioning, balanced multi-polar world can exist, but not within your paradigm, I suppose.

Jesse said...

I have to disagree with J. We need to remain on top. We can't be bowing to kings of foreign nations. We can't allow fractured governments to threaten our well being or that of our allies. We are after all The Great Satan. And our stance on the Jihadist running around in potato sacks blowing people up for salvation, "Hokey religions and ancient pastimes are no match for a blaster by your side"

GrEaT sAtAn'S gIrLfRiEnD said...

Thanks J - moi is also totally impressed with how the ancient Vulcans and PNACers were totally psychic and correct.

A 30 year in the future, fully crunk military able to act out anytime anywhere against any conceivable array of enemies - singular or all at once is totally desirable

GrEaT sAtAn'S gIrLfRiEnD said...

Thanks Jesse -

The Pagan Temple said...

I agree we should stay on top and remain the world's number one superpower and all that, but where I and most conservatives part company is when it comes to NATO. I just don't think our presence in Europe is needed or desired. We could save beaucoups bucks getting the hell out of Dodge.

Strike that, we should be IN Dodge. And Tucson, and Phoenix, and Santa Fe. We should just leave London, Paris, and Berlin.

Now that don't mean we end our obligations to NATO. We just rethink what those obligations entail. I don't think we need to have foreign bases in Europe, other than maybe a few small ones in Eastern Europe.

It's not exactly like there are tons of British and French bases dotting the American landscape. Maybe they would have been more likely to get their own financial houses in order if we weren't there enabling their little quasi-socialist experiments. Let's end the madness.

GrEaT sAtAn'S gIrLfRiEnD said...

Hi Pagan Temple! NATO is an issue - no doubt. To be fair, there is quite a bit to make splitting attractive.

OTOH, xforming NATO from it's ancient idea as a Euro Centric collective and refocusing their strengths (and France has done quite a bit military wise since Darling Nikki got elected)in - oh, say COIN activities to supplement and support a league of democracies, may be easier to pull off by hanging in their hoods as an expert mentor.

Jpck20 said...

"Hokey religions and ancient pastimes are no match for a blaster by your side"

Solo shot first.

But everyone still loves him.

And that's how the world works no matter how much people want to cry about American Imperialism, wish for Kumbaya, a 'functioning, balanced multi-polar world' or whatever fantasy like environment people we should be living in.

The world is a very dangerous place and there are very dangerous people in it who want to take our shit or kill us for having our shit or both, no matter how much we kiss their ass.

Once someone can actually grasp that concept maybe we can actually take a step closer to getting rid of the shitheads in the world. Until then, they'll just have Visions of Sugar Plums dancing in their heads and be very shocked and butthurt when someone does something nasty out there.

GrEaT sAtAn'S gIrLfRiEnD said...

Jpck20! Yeah - good point - seems as if the 'realists' and their posse of of hope for the besters continue to view all nation states as equals in any endeavor. All the jazz about 'common interests" and 'shared values' totally fail to reflect real life considerations that all of the unelected illegit regimes share:

Maintaining power at ALL costs.