Friday, April 20, 2012

Straw Wars


 Every since Jar Jar Binks became Darth Vader ("Nobah Lukabah. Meesa beesa de poppado"), the epical SyFy epic of Straw Wars has became sump of a point of obsessive for the unfair sex. Even in the new millennium's Global War on that which must not be named.
“…Taliban have watched Star Wars too often, especially Episodes Four and Six…they’ve been convinced that a bunch of teenagers and teddy bears can take down an empire, because the hulking technological behemoth always has a single flaw that will destroy the whole system.”

“Naturally, the Americans have their own Star Wars induced strategic blind spot. Take the entire theory behind Effects Based Operations, Network Mapping and Center of Gravity Analysis. Behind this whole strategic architecture is an almost theological belief that there’s one nodal point, and if we can just hit it – we win. All American strategic thinking is fundamentally framed by the theory behind the Death Star trench run.”

Pic - "He's no good to me dead"

2 comments:

Lord Nazh said...

Love me some Boba Fett :) How you doing girl?

Aaron Burr said...

“Naturally, the Americans have their own Star Wars induced strategic blind spot. Take the entire theory behind Effects Based Operations, Network Mapping and Center of Gravity Analysis. Behind this whole strategic architecture is an almost theological belief that there’s one nodal point, and if we can just hit it – we win. All American strategic thinking is fundamentally framed by the theory behind the Death Star trench run.”

The thinking goes back further than that. The American view that war is like a football game needing only a touchdown and a snappy end zone dance to end it has been an American idiosyncrasy for generations.

Robert Leckie (AKA another dead white guy who wrote history books) wrote about this in his seminal work, 'The Wars of America'. It wasn't even until the end of W.W.II that Americans realized that wars are fought for primarily political reasons. Holy crap! We never seem to realize that you can't bomb an idea out of existence....well you can, but doing so violates a bunch of those damn anti nuke agreements the U.N. is so fuggin' gay for.

Anyway, this is reason we keep old fat dudes around in the military for so long. These are the guys that have the patience to plan for the long haul, fully realizing that an ass load of young stupid officers are going to fug' ish' up along the way with naive and childish ideas about 'strategy' 'co-ordinated planning' and 'victory'.

I don't know where they come up with this stuff. It's like every generation picks up a gun and says "What the hell is this thing?"

Quickly followed by, "Check this out...."

Which is why we invariably fight the current wars using last wars victory strategy.

Oy.

Anyway, the battle in the Big Sand Box bores the Hell out of me. It's an entire region of the planet lacking access to blue slushies and Low Rider Magazine. I'll stick to southern Asia.

Nothin' like knocking off from a battle to go get some Beef Tapa and a Halo Halo from Jollibees.

mmmm. Jollibees......