Thursday, February 7, 2008

"Globe Stomping"

Apparently rehabbed from last year's "Condi is a retard" rant, Dr Fred Kaplan is back sounding the alarm about how Great Satan has suicided herself in less than eight years by pursuing some weeded out buzz that never really was. Only now, he's got a new book to hawk with a dope title something like

"Why not sucking up to despots, the UN and enemies is uncool"
Loser lover Seymour Hersch raves it delivers the dirt on the "looney tunes" and "sci fi" fans who usurped America's weak, worthless ignoble waning power and totally ruined everything by taking their day gigs seriously, pretending Great Satan won the Cold War and that 911 could be a harbinger of future threats.

Refraining use of the "R" word out loud this time, Dr K tests the aqua with a toe or two in the LA Times.

"Downsizing our dominance" kicks off with a stealth surge success denial that heads straight down hill faster than popping 2 Xanex washed down with copius amounts of Jagermeister. Totally mentis non compos making.

Confusing American conviction for American arrogance is essential for understanding such subtle, nuanced worldviews like only Foreign Policy saavy stereophiles can.

"U.S. leaders stomped around the globe with wide-elbowed indifference to
the consequences of their actions."
Oh Snap! Globe stomping is what Great Satan does best. Actually called sticking to your guns. Besides - of all the things that could be listed about Globe stomping - indifference AIN'T on the list.

Should Great Satan really care about the regional aspirations of regimes like Iran that openly deny the Holocaust and openly plot the next? Or pitiful rats nests like Sudan that would happily skin a humanitarian lady alive because of some risable retarded (in the classic sense - no less) 8th century concept of sacrilege? Good luck with that.

Complaining that no one in either party really addresses Foreign Policy except for talking to allies, Dr Kaplan dodges the point. Americans kill enemies and only really talk when enemies scream "God! Please! Stop!"

In the New Millenium, scary unfree regimes and time traveling fanboys (rocket hot or not) should worry about what Great Satan thinks of them - not some fan club outreach to a place like Syria that is totally freaked about Facebook. SOTH Pelosi's trek to Basharopolis hasn't really seemed to help.

Like a mirror - Dr K seems to prefer the opposite - punish allies and court enemies

"Germany joins France in opposing resolutions on Iraq in the U.N.
Security Council -- and nothing happens to Germany"
Nothing except the elected PM gets sacked and Deutschers vote in a PM that wants to draw closer - not further from America. The same America that dissed the UN's collection of thug huggers, creepy blocs and leagues and took out the trash at the same time.

"The Turkish parliament votes against letting U.S. troops invade Iraq from
thenorth -- and nothing happens to Turkey"
Nothing except fighting a campaign to put paid to the idea of an independent Kurdistan. Kinda hard to deny Turkey's own Kurds that there's no such thing - when they see it across the border in northern Iraq - kind of a mini Kurdistan free and semi functional.

And Turkey's no closer to the EU than it was before the 20 Day war. And having to host Little Satan's Air Force sometimes to keep their rowdy, Lebanon meddling neighbor in Damascus somewhat in line WMD wise.

"Bush warns Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak not to trample on human rights; the trampling continues -- and not only does nothing happen to Egypt, but on his
recent trip to the Middle East, Bush commends Mubarak for his commitment to
Actually, the last one is a play from Dr K's own "Suck up to Hosni Song" that he sang in a possible fit of jealousy last year. Nothing happens to Egypt? Only that Hosni is a lot like the guy who adopted a baby python (constrictus palestinianus) fed it, nurtured it and now it could devour his regime.

"The next president can begin to rebuild U.S. influence, but he or she cannot
do it alone. The task requires rebuilding alliances, and that is a harder task
than before."

YAWN. More nations are drawing closer to Great Satan - like Poland, India, Pakistan, Ukrainia, Japan, SoKo, Taiwan, Canada, Deutschland, France, Philippines, Australia, - the list goes on and on. More nations realize that downsizing American dominance isn't really helping anyone and like France - realizes that if America does split - the world is less likely to instantly become a happy place where stability, tolerance and enlightenment reigns.

Professor Michael Mandelbaum, Foreign Policy and Internat'l expert at Johns Hopkins University reveals in his killer crunk "The Case for Goliath" that

"Every threat to internat'l order for which the United States bore responsibility after the Cold War involved a government that fell short of Western and economic standards.

Every security problem that the American government felt called upon to address would be alleviated, if not solved altogether, if the regimes responsible for them could be remade to American specifications. For the global economy and internat'l security, the United States functioned, in the wake of the Cold War, as the world's government."

Dr K redefines that unhappy fact. Military misfits dug their poisoned claws into weak minded elected pols poisoned by disasterous, daemonic, democratic day dreams

"They believed, and acted, as if American power were not only undimmed but
supreme and unchallengeable -- as if a president's grimace would still make tyrants tremble and the dispatch of light armies could remake the world."

Oh Snap! America Unbound did remake the world -

Regime changing Ba'Athist Iraq (with the largest Arab army in history in 20 days - no less).

Libya's Colonel Khadaffy trembled and gave up the ghost with his surprisingly advanced secret WMD witchcraft.

Decapitating the Taliban and driving them into a giant kill zone like the former 'No Go' Federated tribal turf in Pakistan.

Staring down Iran in Iraq with multiple Mahdi army massacres, Tehran trembled enough to yank Mookie's asset out of the Surge's Mookie minion mashing Bahgdad sweep. And sack Larajani. And their Revo Guard Commander.

The NIE 2007 'nuke free since '03' is 'moderately confident' that Iran "trembled" enough to forsake nukes and are left with only Kamikaze motorboat flotillas to sortee periodically.

The Land of the Pure's General President for Life trembled and dropped the 'General', stopped fiddling about with caliphaters, began killing them off instead, promised to hold a real election and overtly covertly invited Great Satan right on in the house.

Getting Japan to pull naval ops (under a very thin veneer of UN 'legitimacy') to protect Nippon's skirt flirt with military projection along with constitutional pacifism frees up regime killing regime changing global platforms to prowl the seas.

Isolating the HAMAS and using the entire Arab League to do it at Annapolis. Global stomping?
Of all the things that could be listed about the last 8 years - "supreme and unchallengable" is right up there with "
universal values of the human spirit."

"The next president might try to rally an anti-Iran coalition of Sunni leaders in
the Middle East. But those leaders will need some enticements from the United
States to take the necessary risks. What deal would the next president offer to,
say, the Persian Gulf states near Iran to encourage them to join the enterprise?"

How about their own survival? If Arabs leaders need to defuse Palestine to deprive Iran of a strategic propaganda ploy to militarize and revolutionize Arab kingdoms to overthrow their leaders or plant resistence movements that tend to resist sovereign legit democracies more than resisting Little Satan - then the fear of what the Islamic Republic could do with an 800 lb nuke in the hood is totally off the hook.

Dr Kaplan does realize that diplomacy is often non profit jaw flapping that doesn't solve everything everytime but then he totally blows it by trying to paint a weak Great Satan that is helpless without the aid and abetment of unfree regimes who are primarily interested in maintaining their own power at any costs, destabilizing the hood, projecting projectile proliferation and a penchant for bomb squads to torment their neighbors.

"In many situations, though, the vital interests of two countries are simply irreconcilable -- and neither has the power to make the other give in."

Now that is flat out Realpolitk - not even good code - and after 60 years of failed Foreign Policy like Dr. K's fave - is so last year - totally out of date in the new millenium. No new ideas, no hope and no future for Great Satan except as a broke no game player trekkin through a bizarro global hood where it's getting dark.

"The next presidents will have to get down in the dirt, strike deals and
trade favors. It's no longer morning in America, but it's not quite twilight

In a way - this piece by Dr. K could be interpeted as saying far more about publicizing an inner ethical wrestling match and coming to terms with Realpolitik's failure. A potential personal epiphany super slide from the old school Cold War amoral, corrupt, cult of stability towards a new school, amoral, corrupt cult of stability.

A history do over and rewriting Great Satan's response to 911 is a very weak excuse for some realthink pursuit to reignite magical mythical stability, detente' or neo isolationist coexistence.

Realpolitik's real history is of wars, genocide, terrorism - in a word - failure. Hopes of a resurrection should really be as incinerated as surely as the nearly 3K innocents who made it to work that late summer day.

Outsourcing Great Satan's ideals and diminishing her dominance will be a tough sell in the new millenium, just like weak, boring, enemy encouraging handwringing that anything that happens is entirely Great Satan's fault.

"The next president can begin to rebuild U.S. influence, but he or she cannot
do it alone. The task requires rebuilding alliances, and that is a harder task
than before."

Since 911, Great Satan has demonstrated her will power, fire power and staying power to hit up scary places in the world, adapting, annihilating and allying.

A better case could be made that Great Satan's Globe Stomping DID remake the world. And Great Satan knows Her way around.


Debbie said...

Nice boots. I've been looking for some women's cowboy boots, all worn in, soft and comfortable, to wear when the band plays country music. I don't really LIKE country music, but I like to look the part, ha.

Yes, making negative remarks about the US is a passion for some.

I still say John Bolton for President.

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

Butch said...

Ooh... I expected a new template...

Karen said...

Great post. I enjoy the defeatists bemoaning how poorly we are thought of in the world, which means Europe, yet more and more countries are electing leaders with definite pro-American opinions.

Peace thru strength. Works every time.

Jeff said...

Great Post! Fred Kaplan is just another Republican basher instead of a fair minded writer.

plodon said...

"Basharopolis" :) Luv it!

Kurdistan-the other Iraq

view the "Thank You" section.

Seane-Anna said...

You nailed this one, baby! Spot on! "...thug huggers...". Priceless! I might use that phrase myself someday. Keep up the good work, sister!

subadei said...

I'd suggest the task at hand for the next President won't be "rebuilding alliances" rather should be redesigning old alliances. I'd start with NATO...