Sunday, February 10, 2008

Water Wars

Great Satan's 13th Colony might be getting more turf - and water. Tennessee would lose parts of East Ridge, Chattanooga and other areas if Georgia lawmakers, angling for aqua access, win a border moving time travelling (1826?) contest in the Georgia State House.

The largest state east of the mighty Mississippi, Georgia has her hands full - supplying water to Alabama, Florida and South Carolina. Hotlanta is the only major city in Great Satan that is not near a coast or a gigantic lake.

Lookout Mountain, Ga., surveyor Bart Crattie, who has written about flawed surveys in 1818 and 1826 that set the boundary, said if the border is moved about a mile north to match the 35th degree of north latitude, Tennessee could lose property from North Carolina in the east to the Mississippi River in the west.

"It would take (into Georgia) the whole city of East Ridge, East Brainerd, all of
St. Elmo, a big part of Lookout Mountain and East Lake"
No diss y'all, yet being fully stocked on hillbillies already, the promise of even more seems a bit selfish.

Georgia's resolution, cranked out on Wednesday, would create a border potentators league to hook up with other borderliners in TN and North Cackalackey to fix probs that Yee Hawlander lawyers openly reckon were incorrectly created with ancient naval navigation devices way back in 1818.

"Historians say mathematician James Camak, who led the team, begged the state to
provide him the latest equipment, but instead he had to rely on an English
sextant -- an instrument more familiar to sea captains than land surveyors.
Other stories say Camak's team was scared away by an American Indian party."

The 35th parallel cuts through a southern dip of the Tennessee River just upstream from Nickajack Dam, north of the current state line.

Peach State Sen. Preston Smith, R-Rome, said earlier this week that Georgia has

"a rightful claim to the land."

Tennessee House Majority Leader Gary Odom, D-Music City joked about militarizing
the border with troops and heavy weaponry.
"I think we need to have our militia down there."
The Empire State of the South's own Sen. Shafer said Tennessee is welcome to do so — provided the troops don’t violate Georgia's turf - no prob.
"As long as they don't deploy south of the 35th parallel."


franscud said...

Interesting that we've got a border skirmish brewing right here in the US of A. I can understand the desire to manage a state's natural resources (especially when there's been a history of waste), but water and air rights span borders and should be dealt with regionally ... not seen as the particular domain of any one governmental entity. That's just my opinion though ;).

plodon said...

Oh no, not again. What is it with you Southern States fighting other States? Can't we all just...get along?