Monday, January 21, 2008

Way Off Target

Target. Tone. Lock. Fire.

Totally off target about Target's recent sexy, sassy ad that may or may not center a girls secret weapon on a bullseye, certain femms are now into mindreading
"Yup. we're ready for it. Ready for everyone to tell us we're reading way, way
too much into this Target Ad that places a certain area of a woman's body highly
targeted by men right in the middle of its signature target logo. But you can't
tell us not a single soul at Target or its agency looked at this and didn't see
a certain interpretation that could be construed as objectifying to women.
There's just no way."
Target's response may be cutting to uppity old women who probably haven't been give that "Yowza! Love to Target THAT with a semi intelligent heat seeking cruising missile" Look since the ancient old school bra burning days (to be fair though - compared to the super soft and squishey, sexy and soft asset deployment enhancers in the new millenium - who can blame them for torching questionable gear that often appeared to look as if it dual functioned as a medieval torture device?).

Target laughed in the face of complaints. (Perhaps not enough Femmes shop at Target?)

"Good Morning Amy,
Thank you for contacting Target; unfortunately we are
unable to respond to your inquiry because Target does not participate with
non-traditional media outlets. This practice is in place to allow us to focus on
publications that reach our core guest.
Once again thank you for your
interest, and have a nice day."
Well, heck hath no fury right? Depends - Target's subtle message is essentially that Target doesn't think that elderly cranky old school girl psychic non traditional media outlet bloggers get the advertising game.

What makes this total nonstory quite a tale (no pun there y'all) is actually quite significant. In ancient texts by P.J. O'Rourke called "Parliment of Whores" there is a doctrine of sorts about mixing naughty Hotties with cutting edge movements as well as mixing not so Hotties with cutting edge movements. In Great Britain attending a Housing Now! rally, O'Rourke considered why it was a bust - totally lame eyecandy wise.

"...there were hardly any beautiful women at the rally. I saw a journalist
friend of mine in the Mall, and he and I pursued this line of inquiry as
assiduously as our happy private lives allow. Practically every female at the
march was a bowser. "We're not being sexist here," my friend insisted. "It's not
that looks matter per se. It's just that beautiful women are always on the
cutting edge of social trends. Remember how many beautiful women were in the
anti-war movement twenty years ago? In the yoga classes fifteen years ago? At
the discos ten years ago? On Wall Street five years ago? Where the beautiful
women are is where the country is headed," said my friend. "And this," he looked
around him, "isn't it."

Target's art is actually a fun and free invite. More like a pic really -just like fashion. Sexiness and the allure and ideas of what makes something - or someone - especial - is always changing. Concepts of hotness may time travel, evolve, devolve and culture span - and there will always be something appealing, familiar, comforting and desirable - universal - as au currant considerations of beautiful women.

This universal bond certainly lives in the universal appeal of what Great Satan's Coolest Uncle Ever championed

"There is a myth that though we love freedom, others don't; that our attachment
to freedom is a product of our culture; that freedom, democracy, human rights,
the rule of law are American values or Western values; that Afghan women were
content under the lash of the Taliban; that Saddam was somehow beloved by his
people; that Milosevic was Serbia's savior. They are the universal values of the
human spirit, and anywhere--anywhere, anytime ordinary people are given the
chance to choose, the choice is the same: freedom, not tyranny; democracy, not
dictatorship; the rule of law, not the rule of the secret police."

This sexyful freedom hook up took up politically with Delacroix's risque "Lady Liberty leading the people". Topless, large and in charge fashionably hOt! back in 1792 was most likely based on a hootchie from real life. Delacroix's real life model mirrors of art totally proves unfree, despotic barricades are helplessly weak when at the mercy of hotties. This out of control ho was in control and giving the old heave ho to a regime change.

Just like Target's fully clothed eagle spread snow bunny pic, this long term, long distance relationship is made even easier in the new millenium with new media. And like Delacroix - a great case could be made Target's ad is based on real life hootchies.

Like hot as fire Nordic Viking Babe, Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko . Totally loud and proud during recent crisis with foreign meddling. She put the "OOOO" in Ukrainia, built a coalition and campaigned for those universal values - model material in more ways than one. Hotties risked it all in a homegrown rebellion at the idea of control by the Moscow Assassin Guild's time honoured poison league (Ex KGB). Yulia got game and smarts and charms.

Weaponized musically like last winter's runaway CD "The Duchess" by Fergie. Sweet, petite with kitty cat eyes, Stacy Ferguson's break out solo debut blitzed radio friendly hits, video faves and dance floor essentials. One track in particular "Fergilicious" could be choosen to be a sexyful lament - like a cat in heat - a killer cool soundtrack totally representing the universal desirability of these universal values

"So delicious It's hot, hot So delicious I put them boys on rock, rock And they be
lining down the block just to watch what I got. So delicious they wanna slice of what I gott t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty"
This irresistability could also be known in advertising, PR and regime changing as the Eyecandy Effect:
Essentially - when and where hotties appear an exponential number of men
will appear: If hootchies and ho's are totally hooked and hanging with a
political movement (universal values like freedom), it has a far greater chance
of succeeding
. If there are no hotties loose, the odds of a winning
movement totally fail dramatically.
If and when hot bods are forbidden from demonstrations, expect greater chances of strife, rioting, and guaranteed failure.

When President for Life Bashar Al Assad was legally and legitimately ran out of Lebanon, Hootchies and hotties deployed for cutting edge change and the universal values of the human spirit made a sexy appearance in a tormented land.

Functional democracies also deploy eyecandy in pursuit of choice in politics. Like in
"Armed to the teeth with blood-red lipstick and a killer smile, Yuriko Koike
stormed the streets in a working-class neighborhood here with rapid-fire
handshakes and a brigade of young campaign aides wearing hot-pink T-shirts and
waving rose-colored flags. One of Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi's hit squad
of female "assassins," the former anchorwoman vowed to take no prisoners in
Japan's nationwide elections a week from Sunday."
Eyecandy and defense of democracy can be sexy, free and lethal. Putting the "Ho" in Holy Land, Little Satan shows off beaches and biotches recently.
This charm offensive that leaves HAMAS or Fatah in the 8th century eyecandy wise, proves Little Satan truly is a daughter of the Great Satan. Military intell (in more ways than one) agents tap enemy communications, fly drones and engage in covert chicanery - some kind of hush hush hankey pankey
"My job was top secret. I can’t talk about it other than to say I studied some
Feminists are missing this cutting edge timeless phenom. Like MS Magazine - who bailed on a cool chance to dress up grrrl power in the new millenium with brains and achievements.
Worrying about Target's ad is retarded. Old school fems have better things to worry about since the day history began. Instead of sounding like intolerants in Maylasia who mourn marginalization or Mullahs in Iran fearful of sexy boots and sexy books.
'Femisim' may be about to have a revolution herself.


Aunty Belle said...

Hilarious--oooh, Sweet Pea, this is a fun blog!

Ain't to worried 'bout the Target thang, but the rest of these posts is jes' pure fun an' intelligent.

Makin' mah way through yore back posts--ya' sayin' it true, Pumpkin.

Francis Scudellari said...

Target's reply is a priceless kiss off. As someone trying to make his way in this new field of "non-traditional" media, I should be offended, but given the context I find it quite amusing.

John Brown of Kansas said...

Yeah, her goodies are on a target.

I suppose I might have a deeply embedded misogynist streak due to years of socialization in phallocentric patriarchy, but I'm not offended.

Then again, that might be because I'm both honest and straight.

John Brown

Right Truth said...

I always love reading your posts, but the comments are so great too. You've done it again.

On another topic, hubby and I are home, he's doing great and should be back to normal activities in a few days. Isn't modern medicine fantastic!

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

Donald Douglas said...

That's givin' it to the hootchies!

Loved this one:

"...who can blame them for torching questionable gear that often appeared to look as if it dual functioned as a medieval torture device?"

You go, girl!!