Larijani Unbound

It's official!

Great Satan is the cause of all the world's problems. Consistently making the entire planet an uncool environment for intolerant, unelected regimes, Supreme Leaders and weak literacy rates - consistently provoking jerks, creeps and retards with ungodly ideas like fun and free choice and loving every minute of it.


At this weekend's "How can we win without fighting anybody" shindig in München

none other that Iranian politician, probable handpicked presidential candidate and Mullah minion Ali Larijani took the mic and MC'd a ranting panting fur spitting dissing hissy fit.

Xian Bose - enjoying his new gig at Foreign Policy (after speechwriting for Secretary Powell, Secretary Rice and point man Dr Negroponte) gave up the gossip and it is rich!

"Well, I'll say this about Ali Larijani's tirade last night here at the Munich Security Conference. It was entertaining. It even managed to wake up a drowsy Wehrkünde audience from the endless droning on by the likes of German Foreign Minister Steinmeier and IAEA Chief Mohamed El-Baradei. As for what Larijani had to say, let's just say it was no unclenching of the fist.

"Larijani launched into a 20-minute rant about America's many historical sins against Iran, enumerating them as he went, beginning in 1958 with the backing of the Shah (#1) and continuing on up to the recent war in Gaza (#10 as I recall). Presumably this was just the abridged, modern history.

Surely the Declaration of Independence was an affront to Persian dignity and an attempt to destabilize the Zand dynasty."

Not to mention Britney Spears unleashed her debut single "Womanizer" from her latest CD the same incredible moment that Supreme Leader addressed uppity chicks in Persia about how to get fully crunk with 8th century mohammedism.

The ultimate in American arrogance!

Xian continues...

"

With National Security Advisor James Jones sitting stoically in the front row, Larijani went on and on like this, holding up pictures of dead children in Gaza and explaining how the only reason the Middle East has had any stability these past three decades amid America's repreated imperialist bloodlust was the steadying influence of Ayatollah Khomeini and his revolution. And to think I have been living a lie this whole time.

"After all this, Larijani told the stunned Münich audience that, despite the long history of American transgressions, the Obama administration could "rebuild bridges" with Iran. Full stop. When later asked by a thoughtful questioner what Iran was prepared to do to build bridges toward Washington, Larijani ducked it entirely. Instead, he chose to engage on another question about his government's denial of the Holocaust by pondering out loud, while sitting in the heart of Germany, why the West has such "sensitivities" about this subject.

In Iran, we were told, people are free to hold different views about this. But then Larijani stopped, saying he wasn't an historian and didn't want to get into a long discussion of the past. And thank goodness for that.

Much of the chatter in the crowd afterward touched on how we should write off Larijani's speech because it was all domestic political posturing before Iran's upcoming elections. So this was all campaign rhetoric, appealing to the Iranian voter, from one of the allegedly more pragmatic leaders of Iran's government.

I feel better already."

OK, fair enough - though if this is from one of the 'moderates' in Mullahopolis then non profit jawflapping with any one other than Supreme Leader is a total waste of time - better chances could be had hitting up an on again off again girlfrenemy for intell on her hot! brother.

Following that line of rasion d' tete' a tete' Supreme Leader may not really want high level hello's with Great Satan at all. Tough to maintain 30 years of anti Great Satan trash talking and then sit down and cut deals with her - even in a media controlled environment.

As Great Satan's le Stache' Grande' recently pulled it out in front of Little Satan

"That's why regime change starts coming back into the picture. The only long-range way to deal with this problem is regime change.

By regime change in Iran, I don't mean switching a few figures at the top; I mean the elimination of the Islamic Revolution of 1979. "

Pic - "Great Satan is a whorehouse of ungodly ideals espoused by your revolutionary forefathers"