It's time! In 2007 there were many entrants in the Great Satan's Hootchie of the Year award. Space doesn't permit listing them all so here are the top six.
#6. Miley Cyrus made it through a combination of good luck, good genes and real talent to become the super hot super cool true blue girl next door. Strong on hard work, study and family values Miley credits her success to the Lord. No wild parties, police chases, predator hot guys in her shadow, babies on the way or wickibit pics. Her talent and brainpower, rooted to reality mentality are shared with the Great Satan's nobility, youthful vitality, and eternally optimistic outlook. Sweet, clever and super classy Miley Cyrus is a super role model for younger girls.
#5 - Hillary Rodham Clinton - Heck hath no fury like a hootchie scorned - and this is one scorned hootchie. Electoral "negatives" hovering around the 50% range, the Senator from the Empire State is slugging her way through to the highest honors her Democratic party can bestow. Senator Clinton relies heavily on her ex President spouse for true executive expertise, substance, cash and votes. HRH is the first girl candidate for president for a major political party. The only elected hootchie on the list for 2007, Senator Clinton hangs with disbarred legal eagle security risk (clearance revoked for stealing critical documents from the Nat'l Archives) Sandy Berger for some of her Foreign Policy formulas.
#4 - Paris Hilton - Despite nigh unsurmountable obstacles like anti party Police, unsympathetic DA's and papparazzi who focus their pics on the wrong things, Paris singlehandedly put the "ooo" in hootchie. Owner of 4 different companies that gross $28 million in profits in 2007, Paris the Heiress uses the Ronald Reagan method of surrounding herself with experts. Saavy biz people, greedy playboys, and doped up starlets. Paris' recent junket to Red China showcasing unbridled capitalism and the just desserts and instant gratification that shopping spree's can bestow are excellent reminders that in the Great Satan good looks and cash can be as awesome as brain power and hard work. Greed is eternal and Paris has it all. And she flaunted it all right in the face of the worlds largest, oldest, played Collectivist style Communistic unfree nation, where unrestricted internet access is a crime against the state and all computer printers are registered with the State. Totally retarded. A State with state controlled media control hosting Paris? A mega host server crasher like the fun, free Paris Hilton with 20 million hits overwhelmed filters and access. Paris is irresistable - just like the Great Satan.
#3 - Condoleeza Rice - America's Sec of State is so smart - she's beautiful. Advising Presidents, policy makers - elected and appointed. Dr Rice, one of the world's most powerful women recently announced the 'Non negotiable demands of human dignity "...the rule of law, limits on state power, free speech, religious liberty, equal justice, property rights, tolerance of difference and respect for women..." Sweet words indeed - and heck - it is America. Constantly disproving cries of "Bakerization", she constantly faces down presidents for life and corrupt royalty in ray bans. Dr Rice remains the best role model for the Great Satan's daughters in the last decade.
#2 Gwen Stefani - the Orange County girl with legs right up to her neck has taken talent, hard work and a dream and made it to the top. One of the Great Satan's treasures, Gwen was determined not to sit about in tolerant societies making cash and fans. Gwen took her "Sweet Escape" tour with the Harijuku Girls right into the only semi Mohammedist nation that was brave enough to have her. Malaysia - withering under the weight of constant assaults from hotties, hootchies and ho's got more than they bargained for when Gwen totally dissed fatwas, death threats and militant Mohammedist 'student' groups. Blitzing over 60K concert goers out of their minds with sexyful drenched beats, moves and music. Gwen flipped off intolerant girl fearing preachers and made off their bling, cash and lust.
And the Great Satan's Hootchie of the Year is:
1st Lady Laura Bush - Ex School Teacher, mom of two girls (who made it to 18yo with out babies - this speaks volumes in itself) Brazenly, without modesty landing on the sacred soil of Hijaz's original he man women hating kingdom of Saudi Arabia in October. Joyfully unh'jab'd in broad daylight - no less - the 1st Lady, raised awareness of Breast Cancer pre emption - a most unmohammedist concept - and shared stories and hope with the handful of Saudi lady doctors on precious prime time state controlled unfree media. An especially built and funded screening facility (that is rumoured to appear 'breast like' when viewed from a certain altitude) right in a retarded kingdom where girls driving a car could collapse a backward society chock full of oil, unemployed young people and a not so impressive literacy rate. Always in service to something larger than self - 1st Lady Laura Bush is the Great Satan's Hootchie of the Year 2007.