Thursday, June 11, 2009

Plan B

In the hermetically sealed, scary, rocket rich fiefdom of nuke naughty NoKo, legend looms large that Great Leader, the founder of the nation summoned all the plucky, revolutionary commanders, zealous warlords, Spirit of the Gun (and of course - the national philosphy, the ubiqitious Juche') into ultimate level of the Central Command.

In late 1993, when NoKo was gearing up to withdraw from the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, fears of an imminent war broke out across the Korean Peninsula. The eyes of the world were firmly fixed on the region. Not a day passed without some international coverage of the NoKo's crisis.

Great Leader posed a riddle.

"The American scoundrels are about to start a war against us. Will we be able to defeat them?”

The generals replied without hesitation: “Yes, we can win!” “When have we ever lost a war?” “We shall win every battle!” “How can we ever lose when we have you, Commander of Steel, our Great Leader, to lead us?” “Oh, Great Leader! Just give us the order!” “In a single breath we will rush to the South, drive out the American imperialists, and unify the fatherland!”

Despite such vigorous displays of bravado, Great Leader did not appear especially convinced.

“That’s all very well. But what if we lose? What shall we do if we lose?”

The moment Great Leader uttered the word “lose,” the generals’ lips closed and remained tightly shut. As they sat still in extreme anxiety, the 51-year-old Kim Jong Il suddenly stood up.

Raising his clenched fists, Kim yelled out,

“Great Leader! I will be sure to destroy the Earth! What good is this Earth without North Korea?”

Great Leader looked with fatherly love and pride at his eldest son

“That is surely the answer. I am pleased to see that a new North Korean general has been born at this very gathering. Henceforth, I transfer to you the operational command of the North Korean military."

And thus Dear Leader was born.

UN's Security Council's action Monday was utterly anemic, since the outcome was not even a binding resolution. It was merely a statement from the council president condemning the missile launch and admonishing member states to more effectively enforce the hardly robust sanctions imposed in 2006 following the North's nuclear test.


NoKo's response was an excuse to quit the talks.

After advocating unbinding Great Satan from unproductive Allies - Great Satan unipolarist/semi isolationist fan and Grand Strategerist Classically liberal CATO' Institute's Dr Ted Galen Carpenter is ready to unbind again.

Creator of "Smart Power" in Foreign Policy Land gets Specifically Pacifically

"It is time to ask what the US and North Korea's neighbors in East Asia plan to do if Pyongyang is not willing to abandon its nuclear ambitions.

In other words, what is "Plan B" if the six-party talks fail?

Since military action against North Korea is far too dangerous, there appear to be only three other options, and none is entirely appealing or without risk."

First off, binding all those free little hotties and gigantic autocrazies together in bed with NoKo was le menage a troi redux dieu.

The Multi partners in Six Party Talks was created by le stache' grande - the avuncular Dr John Bolton.

Dr Bolton was totally psychic about NoKo's plot to bail on everything thus ensuring Six Party became more like No Party.

Outrageously embarassing.

"Veto-wielding China and Russia balked and urged restraint to avoid harming prospects for resuming the six-party talks on North Korea's nuclear disarmament."

Sanctions are out. So the options are

Lay back and enjoy it.

"Accept North Korea as a nuclear weapons state and rely on deterrence to prevent aggressive behavior. There is a credible argument for that approach.

"After all, the US has deterred other nuclear bad actors in the past, most notably the Soviet Union and Maoist China, and the vast US strategic arsenal probably could deter the likes of Kim Jong Il."

"Being able to deter an outright attack still leaves room for dangerous North Korean mischief. Pyongyang's proliferation activities are especially worrisome.

"North Korea's apparent nuclear assistance to Syria makes one wonder what other countries – or even more troubling, nonstate actors – might also be beneficiaries of such aid. Living with a nuclear-capable North Korea would be, at the least, a nerve-wracking experience."

Regime Change

"Inducing and/or bribing China to remove Kim Jong Il's regime and install a more pragmatic government in Pyongyang, along with the explicit condition of keeping the country nonnuclear."

"Part of the bargain also ought to be a commitment from Beijing to promote the reunification of the two Koreas within the next generation. During my visit to China last year, policymakers there professed loyalty to Beijing's longtime ally, but there was also a distinct undertone of exasperation with Pyongyang."

Certainly sounds better than the first.

Hold up though.

To get China hot to do the palace coup, diss the 60 yo alliance betwixt Taiwan and Great Satan.

Unbinding democrazies like tiny tiny Taiwan from Great Satan for a nuclear free Korea seems suspect. Unfaithful even.

Think Machiavellian - it could actually speed up the collapse of collectivist rule

A 2 for one deal would be hard to turn down and it could be like slipping a stiletto straight through Collectivist China's heart in a realignment of strategic proportions.

Besides, if China is truly frightened of millions of starving refugees pouring over the border this is a way out.

Millions of super smart people with a history of voting in open, transparent elections breaking into a highly computerized police state.

Art - "What good is this Earth without North Korea?” by Juche'Girl