Friday, August 29, 2008

Couture de Guerre

Back in July, hanging out with a few choice bff killing time the night before the super secret neocon coven at Davidson College kicked off the "Committee Of Five" grand strategy session, the Peninsula Yacht Club was the place to be.

The DJ slapped on the number one on Great Satan's Hit Parade - Katy Perry's runaway smash chick on chick tune "I Kissed A Girl."

"I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick.
I kissed a girl just to try it, hope my boyfriend don't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right. Don't mean I'm in love tonight."

Natch, the unfun brigade (ancient, elderly and prob wouldn't recogize a good time if it sat on their face) quickly screamed "Unclean!" and launched into a boring, pessimistic diatribe about how culture was circling the drain.

Your truly (after several illicit imbibations later informed were 'Fuzzy Navels") totally disagreed - and using the tune's middle eight to point out (with especial emphasis on the last line)

"Us girls we are so magical - Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent"

They were not entirely convinced.

A fortnight back, plotting a party posse panzer blitz to Georgia (almost like Russia) to a future alma mater - opening weekend at Fraternity Row was heralded as a full blown blow out. Hot guys, free booze and live music at every frat.

So after careful prep, inspection and travel a BMW load of hot! sassy, classy, sexyful hillbilly grrls - scented, sweet, soft, sophisticated and wearing nearly 2K dollars worth of au currant couture hit town right before dark. In short order party posse quickly discovered a rocking party and viola!

We gave each other the "Hey! We are the hottest grrls here!" look.

Faster than one can say "democratic imperatives" we were courted, dancing and enjoying the players gunning their engines and kicking their Messerschmitts in a dive to make a play.

We were on fire! Magnetic and irresistable - and all together with it.

When the band took a break, escorts quickly escorted party posse into the sanctum santorium (kind of a combo lounge, sitting room, library looking place. Tons of books, comfy chairs and of course, a fully stocked bar) for an especial beverage from private reserves. An antique engravingly etched objet d'art punch bowl with a psychadelic grape colored elixir on ice.

Party posse's royal taster intell'd it was like pure grain alcohol and grape Kool Aid - with a dash of Red Bull - the infamous "purple panty remover"

More guys and girls showed up. It was cool - party posse was maintaining air superiority, when the break music cranked up with Katy Perry's tune from a month past.

Two girls (who were way too tall) started kissing. Like French style.

Instantly all the gallant, chivalrous, hot! guys who were mesmerized by our every breath - instantly xformed into uncouth heathens, ran over with every other guy in the room and started yelling and screaming "pushy!" (only they weren't saying 'pushy') and high fiving each other and left us in the dust.

It was devastatingly completely clear - transparently, and seemingly counterminiously.

This was the front line in the 'Culture War'

Appearantly, it doesn't really matter how smart, beautiful, high class, educated, connected, designer dressed a girl is. - hotties are totally ignored thanks to two off the rack K Mart ho's sucking face.

Launching the counterattack with a half remembered adage -

"Amateurs study strategy - professionals study logistics "

Party posse quickly hopped up and up and siezed the high ground - the bar. No one could get a drink without getting through us.

This was it - the moment to regain the iniative -

When in Athens do as the Athenians do?


Right Truth said...

You go girlfriend. Those folks don't know who they are dealing with. You will be leader of the free world one day, you can surely handle this crowd.

Debbie Hamilton
Right Truth

Anonymous said...

What kind of article is this? Lol... you're trying to toy with nerdy political nuts.

Anyway no one respects easy girls, if this is a legitimate article.

-- Weaver

GrEaT sAtAn'S gIrLfRiEnD said...

Hi weaver - true story. It's like the title says - a culture battle for grrls. Act like mom always says or...not.

Not so much about respect as attention.

Jeff Wills said...

Well the two girls sucking face looked like an opportunity. There was potential there, say we say. In the mind of those college guys, the infamous "purple panty remover"' may actually produce some results.

But, as usual, classy ladies like your posse, remind guys that anything "worth having" is something your'll have to work for.

kevin said...

Guys do get bored with the easy girls nearly as quickly as they put out.

But it sounds like you already knew that.

Karen Townsend said...

You're a smart one, my dear. But I already knew that. In the very near future you will be running the show anyway.

I think, too, soon Sarah Palin will be making your top hoochie list!

Khaki Elephant said...

Yes, easy girls rarely equate to trusting relationships.

Side note: I must ask after looking at the picture on this post, how can anybody be against gay marriage?

And Karen is right. I'm sure we'll see you on CNN one of these days, but please skip the whole Greek Temple theme.

Nikki said...

khaki, you are naughty. :)N

Khaki Elephant said...

Nikki, I'm just sayin'

Anonymous said...

Haha a culture battle is it?

"Not so much about respect as attention."

I reckon you do understand then...

-- Weaver

Anonymous said...

Jus because two girls kiss, doesn't make them "easy". And what does that mean anyway? Is a girl easy just because she decided for herslef who she wants to sleep with? Like a man? I know lots of "easy" girls. Women who take control of their life, their sexuality and do what they want, instead of what "you" want.

Anonymous said...

Yes, she who controls the booze, controls the men. Good strategy.

Peregrine John said...

Meh. Flat manipulation of deluded dudes. Amateur hour, aimed at guys who hadn't figured out that if they're interested in each other, man, they're not interested in you.

Or who have figured out that they're doing it as advertisement. Ok, I may have to rethink my invectives.