Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Aegypt Aflame

Yeah, it's embarrassing - not unlike getting busted for hanging out all night with a cat you know your bff is plumb crazy bout.

Talk talking bout the V Check Coup d'état - in BvB Aegypt's mighty mighty (not!) military knocking heads and killing in the street as ppl want a more better xition to electile dysfunction and all the hot promises democrazy seduces with.

Beware of fake arguments kids:

Essentially that the only choice for Pyramidland is reduxing exPharaoh For Life Hosni's military rule or creating a semi sunni caliphate ala Preacher Command 
 Controversy has erupted over a document issued by the ruling Supreme Council of the Armed Forces, which assigns the military the role of safeguarding constitutional legitimacy and dilutes the influence of the upcoming parliamentary elections. It also shields military budgets and personnel decisions from prospective future civilian governments. The military would appoint 80 percent of the members of the committee that will draw up the new Egyptian constitution. It’s a recipe for continued military rule.

If the choice in Egypt comes down to a Western-leaning military rule that helped maintain stability for decades or a radical, revisionist theocratic state, America should back the devil it knows.
 Totally incorrect of course - accepting dicts as the least worst thang is suspect.  The forever quest for Stability in Cold War time and sucking up to despotries (horrid or benign) provided NO stability ( to be fair - it granted tons of wars, genocide, terrorism and unstability).

Anywrought - let us cut right to it in Aegypt au courrant 

"The political  m"Hammedists wanted to know: Would the Americans allow them to run in free elections, even if it meant they might come to power? 

The Americans turned the question back at them: Would the political m"Hammedists, if they won, allow free and democratic elections, even if it might mean losing power?

As best understood, the Preacher parties that went mainstream after hiding underground for eons in Arabic Despotries are hot! No surprise - after all, the m'sk and soccer stadiums are like the only places where the secret police would let cats gather and release some steamy heated talk. 

And we get it - Slamists don't like liberal democrazy, free thinking, free press, girls gone wild, emo/goth/hip hop, cool hair dos (and a few hair don'ts), Little Satan, Great Satan's policies around the globe, fashions au courant, fun or free choice and amazingly seem to equate anything nonm"Hammedist as being an attack on m"hammedism. Tolerance ain't in their vocab. And they all seem soooo hot for something something Sharia Law

Break out the ouija board binocs for an upclose zoom in on a potential caliphate Pyramidland style 

Thinking out loud about the worst a mullahocrazy provides would practically guarantee another revolution. PO'ing the world with terrorism, shutting down the Suez, trying to time travel back to the 7th century would make the regime as illegit as the military rule it replaced. Sans foreign aid (a hard line gov would lose it overnight) a blizzard of sanctions would ensure the entire sorry mess would collapse - thus again - like Iran and the Strip - prove preachers may be great at preaching but they totally suck at statecraft

How long could a supercaliphatedocious regime hang on in a nation state about to bust with kids without devouring their young? 
"...You want to brew a revolution? There's no faster way than keeping young men from getting their just desserts, if you know what I mean. Put them off long enough, and some will resort to a strap-on — you know, the kind that allegedly wins you 72 virgins in the afterlife."
Plus, a Caliphate by design would attempt to time travel way back to when m"Hammedism was superior to the wicked women worshipping West:

"That goal is impossible to achieve. It is inconceivable in this modern world that a whole country could wall itself off from modernity, even if the majority wanted to. Could the great theocrcy that al Qaeda and others hope to erct ever completely block out the sights and sounds of the rest of the world, and thereby shield their people from the temptations of modernity? The mullahs have not even succeeded in doing that in Iran. The project is fantastic"
Aside from Clashing Smashing caliphates - any caliphate would be doomed to a struggle they couldn't win - the extreme goals hotly desired by even a semi extreme regime can never be satiated simply because Great Satan, Europa, Commonwealth Russia, China etc, etc are just not capable of retreating as fast and far as a caliphate would require.

Great Satan should ideally announce a temp suspension of military aid (billions per annum)  and launch a high profile fact finding commission about inadvertently funding V Checks (or the ever popular Pantie Police) which seem more like aggressive sex attacks than any sane vetting procedures. 

Also couldn't hurt to wonder out loud why Egypt's mighty mighty military - complete with an M1 panzer factory - cannot for whatever reasons put it to a real use like oh - say, maintaining Writ of State over Sinai or getting hot for Libya, Darfur, Somalia, Sudan or Syria.

Foreign Peace Mongers could flood and floodlight Aegypt with tons of blue ribboned fact finding commissions - sanctioned by the UN - natch. Sir Elton and Lady Gaga could spearhead a tolerance drive - publically lamenting the lack of strip clubs, casinos and gay bars. 

Uncle Tony, 42 and 43 could wonder aloud why cause Aegypt is great at making sure no censor free transmissions are allowed in, yet home grown Xians are tormented to the point of exile - or even extinction 

Getting all elected is one thing. Trying to preclude further elections simply shouldn't be allowed to stand. After all, transparent, periodic free and fair elections are the best hope kids. 

Pic - "Egypt's elections, as flawed and risky as they will be, have become a necessary evil to hasten the transition to civilian rule - elections are the least bad alternative to open-ended military rule." 


Rob said...

Courtney, Courtney, Courtney...as always, I love how you write to death, but I just can't agree with your conclusion here.

What the Egyptian military is proposing is the Turkish Model..or at least what was the Turkish model until Erdogan and the AKP got it.

From our standpoint, it likely is the best of several bad solutions IMO.

Of course the Islamists are going to say whatever Obama wants to hear. Their religion allows them to lie outright to non-believers. They aren't working to get power to give it up.

Islam and democracy don't mix. And that is particularly true of Arab states. The Ottomans understood this quite well. They ruled the Arabs without any major problems by treating them like serfs, bleeding them white with taxes and punishing whatever challenges to their rule came up with extreme harshness.

It worked for five centuries, and would have lasted even longer if the Ottomans hadn't picked the losing side in WWI thanks to anger at Britain for confiscating a few warships for their own fleet that the Turks had bought for their own navy and Turkey's historic antagonism towards Russia.

Whomever rules Egypt is going to have to deal with this mindset ( because of the Arab's tendency towards relative anarchy, the Qu'ran is fairly harsh about condemning anarchy and emphasizing submission to Islam and the Muslim powers that be)and the fact that Egypt,no matter who rules is going to be facing major privations and the resulting social disorder.

Bluntly, Egypt has a population of 80 million people it can't feed.'Democracy' ain't gonna change that..not for Egypt or for the other Arab nations in the same boat, because of the massive increase in food prices, particularly soya and cereal grains. Because Islam does no really value the individual, productivity is low and the major wealth in the region comes from oil the Arabs not only didn't create but were not able to find or exploit on their own. Egypt doesn't even have that much..a declining tourist industry and a canal someone else built for them.

The Islamists offer a way out,citing how Arab nationalism has failed and pushing Islam and the Caliphate as the way of the future to correct this rather than looking at the dysfunctional nature of Muslim societies in general.

Take care, OK?