Thursday, December 24, 2009

America's Xmas Gift To the World

The world has forgotten that the biggest gift to this planet is America's industry - and it's time to remind them where they would be without it.

1. Whenever a horrible disaster hits, they would be dead. Be it an earthquake, a tsunami or a Madonna tour - we're usually the first and biggest responders - saving the injured, and helping to rebuild. It is because of our tremendous capability to mobilize quickly that makes us a nation of superheroes. It also takes planes, trucks and tractors to do that stuff. Imagine that carbon footprint.

2. If they ever get sick, they would be dead. It's true. While critical cretins like Chavez and Mugabe actually harm their own people, we save millions of strangers' lives. Even that bozo called Bono admits it was George Bush who helped prevent the death of millions of Africans from AIDs. Yeah - I know what our critics will say: it's easy for America to do this stuff. Well, it's even easier not to do it.

3. If their family is hungry, they would be dead. Let's not forget Norman Borlaug, who invented disease resistant wheat, saving hundreds of millions of lives in India and Pakistan. You can only do that if you're of an industrial mind - thinking about people, not polar bears.

4. If they're under the thumb of fascism, they would be dead. We possess the greatest military technology in the world, and we've used it to end horrible wars. Our industry of annihilation gave new life to many countries.

In sum, the very people complaining about America would not be alive, if it weren't for America. Which is why, I say to them: Merry Christmas.

It sure beats a pair of socks.

Submitted by Greg Gutfield


Findalis said...


Eric A'dammer said...

Be blessed!

Steve Harkonnen said...

I can hear it now:

Great Satan's soldiers put on fake beards and handle our women.

America means well.

Her foreign policy is a piece of work however.

Merry Christmas, maybe we'll all wake up and America suddenly becomes more astutely wise and starts taking care of her own.

AmPowerBlog said...

Merry Christmas, Courtney!

bernieg1 said...

Merry Christmas

Jeff Wills said...

Merry Christmas, Courtney.

Peter said...

Hope you had a merry Christmas, Courtney!